"Heroin became my wife, my mother, my life, and even my god! For twenty-four hours a day, all I could visualize was the eyedropper and the needle."

“LET ME OUT OF HERE! I CAN’T KICK!”

 

This was my desperate cry as I went through cold turkey withdrawals at the state hospital. This nightmare had begun at the age of twelve when I started smoking marijuana and dropping pills. I hung around with a gang that would do anything under the sun, just for kicks. At the age of twenty-two, I had a deep void within me that lust, passion, the world, the flesh, and the devil could not satisfy. Bored and dissatisfied with life, I tried my first fix of heroin. For the next six months, I was able to control my drug use; but before long, I realized that I was hooked! I had lost control over my will power! Heroin became my wife, my mother, my life, and even my god! For twenty-four hours a day, all I could visualize was the eyedropper and the needle. Twice, I even tried to commit suicide. Shortly afterwards, I committed myself to the Fort Worth Hospital for drug addicts in Texas. After six months of the best psychiatric care, counseling, and group therapy, I was released. When I got to my hometown, it took me only two hours to stick a needle in my veins. I WAS STILL ADDICTED! I returned for two more months to the hospital but was finally given up as a “hopeless case!” The psychiatrists, sociologists, group therapists, and Mexican American healers (curanderos), with all their knowledge, power, and wisdom, were unable to help me. I had become a misfit, outcast – reject from society – living each day in hell! I would have given anything to be able to get up in the morning and say, “Good morning God!” instead of “GOOD GOD! IT’S MORNING!”

In desperation, I left my hometown of San Antonio, Texas, kicking my habit cold turkey on my way to Los Angeles, California. The pain, suffering, and agony were so unbearable that immediately upon my arrival, I was roaming the streets in search of a fix. In the streets of Los Angeles, an ex-addict told me about Jesus Christ. He told me that with Jesus he had found the peace of mind, joy, and happiness he had tried to find in drugs and booze, and that I could find in Jesus the answer to my problems. One day, I went to a church service where I heard a message on, “The Love and Saving Power of Jesus Christ.” When the invitation was made to accept Christ as my Savior, I felt like a “doubting Thomas” as I went to the altar because I couldn’t believe that I COULD change! As I knelt down, I said, “Jesus, if You’re real – please forgive me for all my sins, and change my life!” It was that glorious, unforgettable moment that I humbled myself before the presence of God. I started to cry without being able to stop myself. In my life, I had committed every kind of sin that the human mind could imagine, but today I can testify to the love, mercy and pardon that Christ gave me. That day I got up from the altar with the assurance that I had been forgiven. THE DESIRE FOR DRUGS WAS GONE!

 

A psychiatrist once told me that I was a “hopeless case.” But Jesus said, “I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH … AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.” This is a message for you, whether you are an addict, an intellectual or something in between. YOU CAN RECEIVE CHRIST RIGHT NOW THROUGH PRAYER. The following is a suggested prayer: “Lord Jesus, I need You. I am convinced that I am a lost sinner, and I ask forgiveness for my sins. I open the door of my heart and receive You as my Lord and Savior. Amen.”